How Grieving Our Losses Leads to Victory in God

By Crystal Warr

In today’s culture, vulnerability is often seen as a weakness-but what if we understood it’s actually a superpower?

Lately I’ve been feeling the nudge to shine a light on a topic that’s often avoided but is so crucial to living a life of fullness—and that’s grief…

Don’t worry, this isn’t going to be heavy. Instead, consider it an opportunity to strengthen your vulnerability muscle.

In today’s culture, vulnerability is often seen as a weakness, but as Dr. Brené Brown teaches, it’s actually a superpower. Learning to grieve the “little losses” is one of the ways we tap into that strength. This term, introduced by Carey Nieuwhof, refers to life’s disappointments and letdowns that we tend to sweep under the rug. But when we ignore these emotions, we end up in cycles of repeated pain.

I want to share a powerful story from the Old Testament, featuring David, who fought many battles in his life, and in 1 Samuel 30, we find him in one of his most difficult moments. David and his men returned to Ziklag, only to find their homes burned, their families taken, and all their belongings stolen. These tough, battle-hardened men wept until they couldn’t weep anymore. How often do we allow ourselves to grieve like that?

Many times, we think grieving makes us weak, but there is strength in it. God meets us right in the middle of that pain. David’s first step after grieving was to go to God and ask for direction. He asked, “Should I chase after this band of raiders? Will I catch them?” And God’s response was clear—yes, go after them and you will recover everything.

Here’s a critical point for us: how often do we ask God which battles are worth fighting? Many times, we fight battles that God never intended us to. But David, by seeking God’s guidance, received a promise of victory.

Ask yourself: what disappointments have I experienced that feel unfair? How is the weight of that wearing on me? It’s important to be real about these feelings, both with yourself and with God. He wants to meet you in every emotion, but He can only do that if you invite Him in.

As David and his men went after the Amalekites, they came across someone from the enemy’s camp. Instead of continuing on, they stopped to help him. This man ended up showing them exactly where to find the enemy. The lesson here is that no matter what battle we’re fighting, we should never be in too much of a hurry to help someone in need. Often, the very people we help end up being key to our own victory.

When David and his men reclaimed what was theirs, not a single person was harmed. They recovered everything. But when they returned, some of the men didn’t want to share the spoils with those who had stayed behind. David’s response was firm: “We share and share alike, those who go to battle and those who guard the equipment.” He recognized that everyone played a role in the victory, just like in our lives. The victories we experience are not just for us—they’re meant to be shared with others.

What does this mean for us today? It means we need to be open with the stories of our victories and our struggles. By sharing how God has worked in our lives, we can help others who are fighting their own battles.

One more thing I want to emphasize: we need to be honest with God. Psalm 4:4 in The Message version says, “Complain if you must, but don’t lash out. Keep your mouth shut and let your heart do the talking.” This verse reminds us to pour our hearts out to God, but to also remember who we’re talking to—the God of the universe. We don’t tell Him what to do, but we let Him lead us into the victories He has promised.

So, friend, I encourage you to bring your hurts, disappointments, and losses to God. He is always ready to meet you there. Allow Him to guide your next steps and trust that there is always victory in Him, no matter how things may seem right now.

Here’s my prayer for you today:

Lord, thank You for being a God who hears our cries and meets us in our pain. Help us to be real with You, to bring our grief and disappointments to You, and to seek Your guidance in the battles we fight. Stir our hearts, strengthen our vulnerability, and lead us into the victories You have prepared for us. May we share those victories with others and help future generations walk in Your promises. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Wherever these words find you, I pray it brings you closer to God and reminds you that you are deeply loved by a God who fights for you.